What Every American Should Know...
I live in Canada, and am absolutely amazed at how little most Americans know about Canada. I'm talking about the very basic facts about Canada, like where it is! I've actually talked to Americans who thought I was across the Atlantic! I have prepared this FAQ page as an attempt to educate you about this strange country.
This page is intended to be humorous, and shows one person's opinion. Compare your view of US issues as they compare to the "official" view, and you will understand why this page says what it says.
No. We have "Universal" health care, which is a much better thing. You see, if you are in an accident, get sick, or whatever in Canada, you will be looked after no matter who or what you are. You will NOT be turned away from a hospital for failing to provide proof of insurance. This fact makes it LOOK like our health care is free. But I assure you, every month I get a bill from "Alberta Health Care Insurance" that would make your head spin. It costs me about the same for my "Universal" health care as you would pay for an insurance plan.
This creates another major difference in Canada. All of our hospitals provide a significantly higher level of care than most US hospitals. Because health care is Universal, no hospitals get "extra special" treatment... and none get left behind due to lack of funding. I personally know a nurse who told me a story about an American hockey star, injured here in Calgary. They took him to the nearest clinic. He was saying, "Isn't there a special hospital for, you know, 'Us'?" What he was expecting was a "special" place for those with money. Nope, not in Canada.
Many US citizens complain that this is "Socialized Medicine". Wrong. Our health system is NOT modelled after the Soviet Union, which is "Socialized Medicine". Our doctors bill for services, and get paid based on what they do, just like in the US, but they bill the health care system instead of the patient. This also reduces many nasty lawsuits for "injuries" that you all are subject to in the US... since the patient isn't paying directly for their injuries, they can't sue you for as much of the cost.
Surprise. The exact same cars as Americans. You know, a very large percentage of "American" cars are manufactured in Canada. I personally have owned a 1971 AMC Hornet, 1978 Chrysler Cordoba, 1987 Chrysler Daytona Shelby Z, 1994 Dodge Stealth R/T, and a 1980 Chrysler Cordoba. As you will notice, these are all "American" cars. One was built in Japan, and two were built in Canada. Noticing a pattern here?
Okay, here we have a MAJOR difference between Canada and the US. The US is a "melting pot"... when you move to the US, you expect to, and are expected to, integrate with American society. You must have a passable knowledge of US English, and are expected to pass a test about American history and politics. In Canada, there is a policy of "multiculturalism". Groups and "visible minorities" are expected to stay with each other, and "celebrate" their difference from Canadian society as a whole. Also, Canada has a program where anyone from anywhere can literally buy their way into the country.
For the record, my opinion is that the Canadian policy on immigration is WRONG WRONG WRONG... it leads to racial tensions, gang warfare, hatred, etc. Like you, I personally don't notice much difference in color, accent, or whatever with people I encounter. But when someone is deliberately NOT learning English, not bathing (because of a religious belief), and generally treating me like garbage (often because they were "royalty" in their own country and are now a clerk at 7-11)... well, then I guess I'd have to say I'm prejudiced against "them". Know what I mean?
This is a difficult question to answer... most US maps end at the top of the US... you know that totally straight line above the US (or maybe curved, depending on your map)? The line that stretches all the way from Washington State to the Great Lakes? Well, believe it or not, there is actually an entire country up above that line, which is actually larger than the US! Really! In fact, bits of Canada are between the US and Alaska (which is also a State). Canada then continues all the way up to the North Pole. If you look at a globe, you will see that the former Soviet Union is actually on the other side of Canada... if Nukes had ever been launched, they would all have flown right over Canada (not across the Atlantic). During World War II, supplies, bombers and fighters from California used to fly right over where I live, which is Calgary. Calgary is at the same east/west location as Phoenix, except we're farther north.
Well, exactly the same things as Americans. We come home from work and watch the same TV as you... NBC, CBS, ABC, FOX, MTV, VH1, CNN, TNN, etc. We eat the exact same foods as you. In fact, Canadians are totally indistinguishable from Americans as far as "Culture" is concerned, except that our government tries to protect us from Americans. We watch the same movies, read the same books, lust after the same starlets.
Well, I suppose somewhere way up north someone does, but something like 90% of us live within 100 miles of the US border. And, although I'm sure that some of you in the South think that Seattle and New York are cold enough to build igloos, trust me, they're not.
Sure, exactly the same way that you are... by getting rich and buying it. You see, Canada has no military. Well, on paper we do, and there are always some people going and "joining the army". But we don't actually own any military equipment such as, well, tanks, warships, guns, bullets, etc. We do own a few F-18's, but they are primarily in Europe to fulfill NATO obligations. Oh yeah, and we also have some C130's. Once in a while we get to see them at an airshow. And while Canadians often take part in Peacekeeping missions, they are not allowed to carry weapons. In fact, no one in Canada is allowed to own weapons. You see, somehow Canadians got the idea that guns are dangerous and promote violence, so they outlawed all of them. Even collector guns that don't fire. Amazingly enough, they have all been sold to Americans. Now, most murders in Canada are done with knives, poisons, and strangling.
Canadians also try to take over in the entertainment industry. Many famous people in the US are actually Canadians. For example: Leslie Neilson. Paul Schafer. Michael J. Fox. Shania Twain. KD Lang. Pamela Anderson. Bryan Adams. That guy on "News Radio". William Shatner, Patrick Stewart, and dozens more that you all recognize.
Well, yes. You see, in Canada they have this rule: "A drink is a drink is a drink". This means that all drinks have the same alcohol content. So a shot of Jack Daniels, a glass of wine, and a beer all contain the same amount of alcohol. Thus, when Canadians grow up and learn to drink beer, they develop a higher tolerance. This means that most Canadians can outdrink most Americans. It also means that two beers is enough to make you dangerous on the road. Go figure. It also means that most Canadians bring American beer back from vacations, and vice versa.
Well, watch the TV show "Viper"... it's shot here in Calgary, and also in Vancouver. The X-Files is also shot in Canada. As you can see, Canadian cities look exactly like American cities. Almost. Generally, Canadian cities are cleaner and safer. The cleaner part is because Canadians are known for being "polite", which means they are more likely to put trash in a trash bin. The safer part is because we don't have guns. Also, most Canadian urban areas are smaller than their US counterparts. Eastern Canada looks like the Eastern US, and Western Canada looks like the Western US.
Well, Canada is split up into what we call "provinces", but they are just like States. Each province is broken up into counties. There is a federal police force, called the RCMP (Mounties), that usually police the small towns and rural areas. Only Ontario and Quebec have Provincial forces. Cities have their own police forces. The provinces go from west to east like this: BC (British Columbia), Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, and some other little ones that no one can remember. Each province has at least one reasonably large city:
| Province | Major City | Population |
| BC | Vancouver | 1.5 Million |
| Alberta | Calgary | 1 Million |
| Saskatchewan | Regina | 400,000 |
| Manitoba | Winnipeg | 600,000 |
| Ontario | Toronto | 2.5 Million |
| Quebec | Montreal | 2 Million |
The federal government is in Ottawa, Ontario, but we basically ignore them out west. Canadian politics is a horrible mess, rife with corruption and dishonesty, and most Canadians have absolutely no representation. We have no way to remove truly bad people in government. Although we have elections, the choices are between "horrible" and "worse". The government has less power AND less accountability than US governments. Federal elections are held whenever the party in power calls it, which means they can call an election whenever they think they have the best chance of winning. As an example, most of the West voted "Reform" last election, but Reform failed to get enough votes to be the official "opposition". As a result, the West is completely unrepresented in official policy. Also, even though there is a Senate, Senators are not elected, they are appointed.
Since I wrote the above paragraph, we have had another election. You see, the "Liberals", who were in power, decided that they could win an election, so they called one. Everybody had exactly one month to campaign, and when it was all over, the Liberals were still in power. Of 300 seats, the Liberals hold 156. Virtually the entire Western half of the country voted for Reform. The Liberals have a "majority" government with only 38% of the vote.
The Prime Minister of Canada is Jean Chretien, a dweeb of a moron of an inept bungler, who gets his own page here.
Canada broke free of British rule a long, long time ago.
No.
Well, out east there is a province called "Quebec", and most of them do, but that doesn't really count. It's about like Louisiana. In fact, "Cajun" is an abbreviation for "Acadian", which is somewhere in Quebec... a bunch of them were kicked out and moved south a few hundred years ago. As a result of French aggravation, the Canadian government made French our "official" second language, although in the west there are very very few who speak it. As an example of how aggressive the French can be in enforcing their "culture", a large group in France is attempting to sue a US university for not having their course information on the web in French.
Most Canadians are NO DIFFERENT from most Americans. There are still certain groups who are different, like "French Canadians"; they are minorities. Canadians watch mostly American TV. Most books in the bookstores are American. We can cross to and from the US at undefended borders... so why do most Americans think we're "foreign"?
This page was written by Geoff Allan. If you have comments or corrections or a dispute or complaint about anything I've written here, click the mailbox at left and tell me what you disagree with. I'm really a very open minded person!